Minimum Wage Hike Approved

According to CNSNews:

A minimum wage hike measure was added to the Iraq war funding bill, which the House approved in a vote of 348 to 73, and the Senate in an 80-14 vote. The president signed it into law privately Friday afternoon.

The move was celebrated as a victory for low-wage workers.

The increase is the first in a decade, raising the minimum wage from $5.15 an hour to a base salary of $45,000 a year.

Reactions from employers were not very enthusiastic.

"Great, we're making the 17 year-old drop-out rich," said restaurant owner Doug Newsome. "Enjoy your $58.00 hamburger, you idiots."

EGGHORN, a community organization representing low- to moderate-income families, said the "long-overdue" wage hike "will bring millions of America's hardest- working little kids closer to a real living wage."

"Why should somebody have to work really hard at learning a viable trade just to earn more money?" said Marge Hurt, EGGHORN representative.

Ray Patricks, a 20 year-old stoner and busboy agrees.

"My cousin actually borrowed money and busted his ass through college just to learn some stupid job trade," he said. "I just smoked pot."

Patricks said his pay increase would have bought him a new house, but the recent drastic inflation of fast food and household product prices, caused by the minimum wage increase, has ironically kept him living in his parent's basement.

EGGHORN representative Hurt said that Ray Patricks is the stereotype, and not characteristic of the standard minimum wage earner.

"Nearly 87% of all minimum wage earners are 33 year-old family men with 8 kids, four cars and two house payments," said Hurt. "How can one avoid a solid education, party with drugs and alcohol throughout their young adulthood, and still not be rewarded with a doctor's salary when they land that first pizza delivery job?

"It's shameful."