The Global Warming Wars

According to the AP at CNN, top retired generals warn that global warming will eventually cause a security threat to the United States, which will be forced into worldwide wars over water and other shortages.

The story states:

...that in the next 30 to 40 years there will be wars over water, increased hunger instability from worsening disease and rising sea levels and global warming-induced refugees. "The chaos that results can be an incubator of civil strife, genocide and the growth of terrorism," the 35-page report predicts.

"The report is roughly the size of a comic book and easily read," said Gen. Charles Finster. "Especially with the cool 4-color panels I drew on each page to depict the global warming war action!"

When questioned if the report may seem too alarmist to be taken seriously, Gen. Finster replied, "Shut up, ass."

Gen. Finster continued, "It's true. We'll go to war over water, the dead will rise from the grave, and possibly 75% of the earth's population will be covered in boils. It's all covered in my slugfest-filled comic book. I mean report."