Thursday, July 19, 2007

Spy Charges Against Ex-FBI Analyst

According to the AP:

A former FBI intelligence analyst who worked under two vice presidents was sentenced Wednesday to 10 years in prison for passing secret U.S. documents in an effort to topple the Philippine government.

Leandro Aragoncillo, 48, apologized in court for his actions and said he was just trying to help bring Filipinos out of poverty.


According to documents released by investigators, Aragoncillo has faced other charges of espionage, dating back to his high school years.

The reports claim that Aragoncillo, along with fellow Angel Beach High students, Pee Wee Morris and Tommy Turner, were caught spying in the girl's locker room shower.

Charges were dropped against the sophomore when the only witness, Coach Beulah Ballbricker, could not produce a positive identification.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Swimmer Endures Loss For Global Warming Awareness

According to AFP:

British adventurer and swimmer Lewis Gordon Pugh on Sunday became the first person to swim in the icy waters of the North Pole, to raise awareness of how global warming is effecting the polar ice cap.

Pugh, 37, took 18 minutes and 50 seconds to swim one kilometre (0.6 miles) in the minus 1.8-degree Celsius (28.8-degree Fahrenheit) water -- just enough time for both of Pugh's testicles to freeze and fall off.

Pugh is now worried that the fact his testicles actually fell out of the bottom of his swimming trunks will overshadow the point he was trying to make.

"I was hoping that my swim would inspire world leaders to take climate change seriously," said Pugh. "But now when they think of my swim, they'll think of my balls floating around under hundreds of feet of icy water."

A recent United Nations report claims that within the past 30 years,
the Arctic ice sheet has shrunk by six to seven percent in winter and by 10 to 12 percent in summer.

Also, it was noted that Pugh's scrotum shrunk by 78 percent before turning a light blue hue and snapping clean off.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Sheehan, With Straight Face, Considers Run Against Pelosi

According to the AP:

Cindy Sheehan, the soldier's mother who galvanized the anti-war movement, said Sunday that she plans to seek House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's congressional seat unless she introduces articles of impeachment against President Bush in the next two weeks.

"That's right! If Pelosi does not seek to impeach Bush by July 23, I will run against her in 2008," Sheehan said with a straight face.

Sheehan claims the Democrats have "betrayed" the Americans who have voted them into office, and said, with a straight face, that she could give Pelosi a "run for her money."

Straight-faced supporters of Sheehan hope that this sends a message to the members of Congress.

"If Sheehan runs, I'll definitely vote for her to strike a blow against those who are in the pockets of the special interest groups," said Joan Gosford, whose face was straight.

Joel Wilson said that Sheehan should run against Pelosi whether or not impeachment proceedings occur.

"Sheehan is the voice of true Democrats and those who oppose the evil lies of the Bush fascist imperialistic administration. If she runs, I know for a fact that she will win," said Wilson.

After making the comment, witnesses noted that Wilson said them with a straight face.

There has been no official comment from the White House regarding their laughter at Sheehan's plans.